In any group of friends, there are always going to be some people who make a more appropriate audience for certain pieces of information than others. For discussions about how to hard-boil an egg, I have California Girl (but only for another three weeks, and then she’s moving to the other side of town to torture some other unsuspecting soul. Can I get a ‘whoop, whoop’, please?); chat about Anna Wintour’s recent sartorial fiasco, complete with large, silver ovaries attached is best conducted with Best Mate; and deeply inappropriate jokes are best told in the presence of The Metrosexual, whose sense of humour is quite breathtakingly black (I’d give the latest example, but the blog would be immediately taken down by the powers that be for offending everyone, all at once). And, obviously, there are certain topics of conversation that are generally best left undiscussed with some members of one’s social set.
This is generally the rule where Speckled Lad and relationships are concerned. He and I are consummate professionals when it comes to ignoring the elephants peppering the room. I can count on one finger the times SL and I have had meaningful discussions about his relationship with Argentinean Girlfriend – and that only occurred once I’d started The Voice. Only when the situation is ‘safe’ do we ever talk about anything with depth.
And so when, over coffee, SL started asking how things were going with TV, I was pleasantly surprised and took the opportunity to have a proper discussion with a good friend about the state of my relationship, such as it is. I explained that we’re having fun, but that I don’t see things lasting much longer: any guy who takes me to Reiki and tries to convince me of the merits of total redistribution of wealth within an economy clearly doesn’t know the first thing about me, let alone enough to make me consider any kind of future.
“So,” SL said, smirking and nudging his shoulder gently into mine, “it doesn’t look like your friends are going to meet the mythical creature who’s managed to tie down the Blonde for months, then?!”
I scowled. “No. You won’t. I dread to think what you, Speckled, would say to the guy who told me – in extensive detail – about his perfect wedding, six weeks into our relationship. Scary. Since when did you lot turn into commitmentphiles, anyway?”
SL pulled a face and laughed, staring into his coffee mug. “Hah. I hope I’m not tarred with the “that lot” brush?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” I looked at him, puzzled. “You’ve been with AG for, what? Over a year now?”
“Um, Hannah, no.” SL shook his head gently. “We, er, we split up. It’s been over for weeks. I just… I just assumed you knew. I mean, you’re… Well, it’s us, isn’t it?”
Eh?! This was news to me, little ol’ unpsychic me. And entirely unfair – there is no way I would have discussed the cracks in my relationship with TV whilst SL sat there, all smug and single, with his fingers resting on my knee as we tackled the crossword. And I would have been able to steel myself, before he looked at me, all big, brown eyes and languid, sparkling smile. Because suddenly, there it was: back. Much like a dodgy 90s pop band; a predictable fashion trend (nautical? For summer? How original) or a bout of herpes. Yes – my inexorably, undeniably large and inappropriate, once-beaten, thoroughly irritating crush on SL. Back. Which is information I definitely wasn’t ready to hear.
Tags: Dating, Friends, Make-you-feel-like-a-schoolgirl-crushes, Men
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16 comments:
Perhaps this crush is finally headed in the right direction??
Arg! Crushes. They always pop up their evil head at the most unfortunate time. What are you going to do?!
J: Hmm. Given his track record, I'm not sure which direction can be said to be the right one...
Nuttycow: They do indeed. I really couldn't tell you. Ignore the situation, probably. It's what I usually do.
How did you not see it coming? It was coming in style of big, noisy, steam puffed train!
I just keep thinking what the wedding will hold, a best man speech from his brother...perhaps? ;)
Were you surprised they broke up or surprised by his comment, "it's us"?
You got a heads-up on the break-up from his roommate, right?
Good luck. Sounds like treacherous waters.
excellent. it sounds like both your relationships are rubbish. let us know when the sex starts. er, again.
he appears to be getting dumber. first reiki and now communism.
as a woman of the world i'm sure you realise there's no fashion to speak of in egalitarian utopias like north korea. no heels at all.
PDEWYMO: I don't know. Whine. And I choose to ignore the other thing. Just - erk.
Emily: I was surprised that he came close to admitting he and I might share what could euphemistically be termed a 'situation'. He's an even greater fan of the ostrich approach than I.
CB: You know, you have a certain style when it comes to succintly summing up a situation. I might employ you as a sub editor.
Coffeesnob: Well, quite. He has clearly not been listening to a word I've been saying, nor looking at a thing I've been wearing. Borrowed time, methinks.
i'm expensive, but worth it.
As for the crush, a bit like a reformed Take That (minus the fat dancer from Stoke), you may have to just give it a try and see if there really is some close harmony magic.
i say, H, can you give us your thoughts on smelly fish alex salmond and the union-busting antics of the snp? is scotch independence a british form of poujadism?
CB: Sounds good. Let me get a job, and we'll talk cash.
Q: I don't know whether to congratulate you or be appalled by that.
Coffeesnob: I think you've summed it up rather well with 'smelly fish'. He's awful and smug, and generally deeply unpleasant. I really don't know what's going to happen re: independence. Of course, it might be rather amusing to watch, once the eejits at Holyrood work out the sums won't work, and the indulgent level of social spending simply won't be able to contine if they break from the Union (even with their precious oil), given that Scots are subsidised £3,000 per capita by the English. England should hold a referendum on whether it wants to keep Scotland - then I'm sure Mr Salmond would be singing a different tune.
And I suppose you could see the issue of Scotch independence as a form of poujadism, although as soon as the Scots get independence, Salmond would have to realise that he would be the establishment (there's a thought), and wouldn't have anyone else to rile against, or to blame things on - unless he took the Mugabe line, and everything was the fault of the ex-colonial power (off topic: that seriously bothers me about the current Labour government. Their answer to anything begins, "Ah, but in 1997..." Yes, chaps, everything may have shocking when you inherited it, but you've had 11 years to do something. Quit moaning about your predecessors, pull your finger out and do something, rather than bickering and backtracking). I really think, though, the whole thing's a storm in a teacup. It'll just never happen.
Phew. A cup of tea, methinks.
thank-you. earned your tea the hard way.
sommat else. in most democratic electorates there's an ever fluctuating balance between right-of-centre and left-of-centre parties. but curiously in scotland there isn't one blue seat at all (an unhealthy polity). can you suggest why? looks rather odd from down here.
Whoop Whoop! Finally she's going.
I must admit, when you're consciously saying to someone you don't think the relationship is going to last, you really need to get out.
As far as SL goes... I see no problems there :D
Glad to hear you'll soon be rid of California Gal. As for Speckled Lad the more I read the more I feel I come from another generation (or maybe planet) as I don't get this guy.
oops.
oh. dear...
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